Thursday, 31 January 2008

Sponging

These last few days I've been leeching off others posts and leaving comments here there and everywhere. Not contributing to my own post because I haven't been in an interesting frame of mind. Sort of like doing the rounds and going to other peoples houses for dinner, but not inviting them to dinner at my house.
Sponging.

I have a few balls up in the air, some haven't come back down and a couple that have are broken.

My daughters 21st is 4 weeks away. In NZ the 21st birthday is huge, a transition from childhood to adulthood (very quaint and old fashioned ritual, because as far as I know, children become adults aroung the age of 15 but still remain childlike till around 30). So its a big deal and I'm buying into it like an alcoholic at a homebrew expo.

I have one child so everything is a oncer or at least thats how I rationalise my irrational behaviour. I have spent the last 2 weeks designing and creating her invitations ( a CD, a CD cover, a CD label) but my teeth have suffered from constant gnashing when my printer has failed, I've fed the paper wrong, the inks run out, the format is incorrect for the labels....all very testing on my warped little mind. I have to bend everything to my will.

So when there is a hiccup in the machine line I am fit to blow like a bazuka. The paper costs around $1.10 per sheet and when I look down and see 8 sheets that have been fucked up by the printer/inks and the machine operator (me) I get a little crazy. Its just as well I have lived alone for the most part of this operation. Women can be scary when shit doesn't happen.

I have an ache in my shoulder from incorrect posture, keyboard height, chair, fuck, whatever, basically a shit desk and a shit chair. over.

I'm about to cross over to no mans land this morning. A few posts back I talked about my client wanting to shift operations to the north island and how I went a little 'Danger Will Robinson' on his ass. Well, now I am about to suck his toes...the manufacturer is closing their workshop and will no longer do the work that I screamed about. My client was here two weeks ago, sorting out a huge order with them, did they mention any possible strife? NO, did they mention smoke in the air? NO.

Yeah I know companies try and trade it out, but the customers do too. The customers hopes that the relationship is built on trust and openness. I pay my big bill on time, you make my stuff. You don't tell me when the ship is going down and I leave you in dry dock where you belong, assholes.

Irony, huge cauldrons of steaming thick Irony, served anally with a hot silver ladle. I'm bending over as I type. I got duped and I batted for them.

I think I'll keep making 'Sweet Sixteen' type arrangements for my daughers 21st. Have you seen that programme?? it leaves me stupified. I asked my daughter if she would like a helicopter to pick her up for her party...she looked at me with a scared look in her eyes. She knows her mother is capable of arranging that crazy shit and much more. Its ok, I was just testing to see if my daughter was still human and hadn't become 21stzilla.

Yeah I feel for my daughter too, her mother is crazed. Can you imagine when the grandchildren arrive? lawd help them.

H2

3 comments:

Tex's Missus said...

Hey H2, you 'aint crazy, you are just passionate :) And on Planet Fuck-Up where I reside a lot of the time, your reactions sound completely in proportion to the travesties that have befallen you - Jeez, I'd be spitting nails too if 10 bucks worth of uppity paper got smooshed by a fucked-up printer !

My kid is used to me doing things on a grand scale - completely justified 'cos there's only ever gonna be one of him - and while he sometimes looks at me as if I've lost my mind, I know underneath he's glad he's got a slightly unconventional, free-thinking mum who talks to him and not at him.

I'm sure your daughter is bloody well stoked that she has such a cool mum too - at least you don't go around wearing aprons and sensible shoes with your fucking hair in rollers, clucking your teeth about kids these days and whatever else those old-before-their-time mothers do.... (fuck, you don't do you ??) We gonna grow old disgracefully !

Anyway, you are welcome to visit me on Plant Fuck-Up anytime you like - shit, if nothing else, it may make you feel better about from whence you came :)

Bettie K. said...

I am so throwing up my hands in the air and saying "yeah...." Sweet 16 is the most fucked up show I have ever watched yet I can't turn it off. I don't blame you one bit for going all out for your daughter...just make sure she has at least 5 different outfit changes.

For Emma's first birthday, her uncle arranged to have someone dress up as Curious George. Nothing more terrifying then having a life sized monkey in your house. I was just hoping that he wouldn't take a dump.

Watergurl said...

Missus - yeah, you know what I'm talking about. All that and I bag of chips. BTW I DO wear aprons, they just happen to be funky 50s ones that I've sourced from garage sales and op-shops :) I love retro remember.

Sarah - I knew you would know about Sweet Sixteen, LOL. I just have to watch that and realise I am not insane.
Curious George sounds hysterical! scary but funny, please tell me he didn't chase the kids......