Jetsam

I'm pissed off. I got a GST notice today that I owe $1000 to the tax dept. Not so bad you might think. I don't have $1000, I can barely make my mortgage payments....
I rang my accountant, I may as well be talking to an orange. I'm pretty sure hes filling in the numbers but not actually working for me. Just taking the money, punching in numbers but not looking out for my business. Slacker.
I have applied for jobs all over and I feel like jetsam, no control, just going with the flow, bumping up against stuff, bumping off and floating away.
This bullshit gets to me. I don't like things so lose. I am adrift in the stream of life and sometimes it aint so pretty. The other day I created summer in my day. Today I am in bill land. I am doing all I can to get another job, but I'm scared its not coming. I stepped off a year ago, but now that I am trying to step back on....it aint so easy.
I have three weeks, I'm counting and I'm working on it.
I'm looking at that panic button really carefully, I'm not ready to scream but I'm doing the warm up exercises. Fuck this, I'm not going down without a fight.
Maybe being cornered is a good thing, because I'll definitely come out fighting.
Rowing.

H2