7.04

Its 7.04am, pitch black , no sunrise and cold, vicious witch fingers will pick at me if I step outside.
I told my sister I would pick her up at 7.30....I doubt it.
Winter gets harder as I get older. I am meant to be splashing around in the waves somewhere, in unbearable heat and there is no sign of rain, damp, howling winds and chilly blasts from Antarctica. I have missed my fate, somehow I took a wrong turn and ended up here, in the South Island in the middle of Winter. I know that was a contradiction......fate and wrong turns, but if you read earlier posts you will know that I have a contradictory nature, so there.
I have barely slept. Not because I'm cold, just because my mind is working overtime.
I have a full day ahead but none of it makes my blood pump. I feel quite alone. I miss my best friend. When she passed away last year she left a cavern - huge and monstrous in proportion. A never to be repeated act of energy, much like Haleys comet, you might see it once in your lifetime. I must admit, I have on a couple of occasions wondered why I stay here.

I miss her. I miss her because there is no one else in my life anywhere near what her friendship offered me. This might seem callous, but the remaining friends are like cardboard cutouts in comparison. A typical outing would go something like this - breakfast at Lemon Squeeze, buying fruit and vege for the week at the local markets, making earrings at Bead World and then a visit to the local hardware giant to look at bathrooms and learning about the latest in DIY.
Our interests were expansive - good food, good books, art, travel, a session of reiki, a reading, fashion, sewing, foreign films, DIY, cooking and glamour. And all the while talking and talking. Philosophy, analysis, conclusion and vision.

You have fallen and I can not pick you up. I can not offer you a hand or a shoulder to lean on. I can not follow. I can not find you here on earth.
Much Love

h2