I think I speak english, I think I do. But its all about a cluster of words, tone and emphasis. I text messaged someone a message today, which I thought was pretty straight forward, put in a :P symbol to indicate my cheekiness and voila, the person thinks I am angry. Basically without a tone its hard to hear, as opposed to what we 'think' or 'feel' we hear.
Often I will insert a tone in my mind and before I know it I've donned a flak jacket and headed out to war. I've done it myself, misread the tone in an email and snapped back before I've given the person the opportunity to clarify. So what I'm saying is, our own emotional crap can play a large part in how we read or percieve a conversation. This can be true in text, email and to a lesser degree face to face. At the moment I think my communications skills are low, around 45% of what or how I say things is understood. I have had 3 misunderstandings in the last two days. Time to withdraw and examine the landscape.
I'l also on homeopathic remedies so I'm feeling emo.
Be cool honey bunny, be cool.
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3 comments:
H2 I have missed you! I was starting to worry a little bit....
I too am awful when it comes to reading the "tone" of an email. But I have decided that if someone has not used the word bitch or fuck off, then we are still being civil :). See...smiley face. I hate those fuckers but I have been using them more and more to set my tone along with the overused LOL (who are kidding, no one is laughing out loud).
I think it comes down to trust...if you trust the person, then they will tell you the tone or help you set it. And I live by this policy...if you are unsure, then ask.
As for your English speaking skills...they are WAY hot with that New Zealand accent....
hey Sarah, never worry. I might hibernate or withdraw for a while, but nothing more serious than cave-dwelling and licking wounds while the world makes sense again.
I use the icons most of the time because I can sound abrasive otherwise.....even in that txt message I put in a :P to say 'i'm being stoopid' but the other person is not a texter so he didn't know the symbols...ahhh.
Anyway, u don't even know the sound of my voice, so while I didn't actually LOL, I did smile. Thanks for your photo on your blog, a real person!! OMG :)
ah shit that is too funny, because i mostly blog with a humourous intent, and a mischievous glint in my eye.
I am basically having a laugh at myself, the world and trying to laugh with, not at, people, but my sarcasm and swearing rants often come across as very angry (Sarah thought I was an angry man), so it is interesting how written words can often fail to deliver a large part of an intended message, whereas in person we can use our non verbal language to send that other information.
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