Over it

Arrived to an afternoon of meetings yesterday, all good, no probs. Went and met friends for a few drinks from around 5pm, started good and ended mediocre albeit nearly 9 hours later. I think I'm over certain people and certain places. I couldnt give a rats ass about a few people I encountered last night. I didnt find the humour or the attention stimulating. I felt distracted, like something was missing.
The old me would have found easy laughter, interesting conversation and a willingness to be central in the discussion. Not so anymore. Tired of it and over it.
I've moved somewhere else emotionally, my friends and family no longer hold me. Where to now? Going overseas? Going, just going? Its quite clear that things have changed, not surprising really, too much has happened. Like standing outside a glass house and watching an old life continue. Observing but not feeling connected enough to want to participate.
With only 4 hours sleep I need to go catch up on some zzzzzz, just needed to write down that observation. I have no idea where the ship is heading now, I hate to head off on my own again, but there isnt much choice, hanging back in the shadows isnt really an option just because its safer. I wish there was someone that could keep up, this journey gets mighty lonely sometimes.