Doors

ok, got lots of door to look through, see what I want to do....

• I approached my old work place about some contract work, my old boss seems interested and asked me to put a proposal in for consideration. I've been tossing all weekend about whether or not I want to be working for them again....kind of spur of the moment pitch that is now a reality......shit, careful what you ask for.....
• My business start up loan has been approved, now I have to go for it, I need to make the pre-Xmas sales or my summer is gonna be long and hard. Which means I need at least half a dozen products in two weeks....eeeeeeeeeeeek.
• My biggest client is interested in being a part of the other business I'm developing (designer capacity), we recently had a big blow-out, its still not completely ok between us....I think its a good time to let go of my obsession with him....????? LMAO but can I trust him? AND we still need to talk about the terms of payment, % etc.
• My mortgage is up for review tomorrow. I have to ask if they will extend my terms of payment or I will have to sell my home. If they won't renegotiate my terms I will sell my house to my sister. Its not really a problem but I would rather keep my home. I'll deal with whatever happens.
• My contract in social services comes up for review this week. The job is handy, but its hard work, its supposed to be budget advisory but you can't look at the finances without looking at the lifestyle and self esteem of the client. The pay sucks, its a third of what I used to get paid per hour, but I knew that when I took the job on.
• People to pay back, loans from here to China......its all good, I'm gonna be fine.

I've done alot of manual labour this weekend, the backyard looks amazing. I worked myself silly because I have too much to think about. I just needed time away from thinking and to get my hands on the earth and remember that nothing is as big a deal as I might imagine. I'm trying to manage my tidal waves and take the energy out of them so they are gentle not gigantic.

I have a few doors that can be closed or opened, I have a plan, I'm just scared :)

Keeping it simple and practical. Working through each issue as it comes to hand with patience and attention to detail. No room for carelessness.

I'm going to have a hot bath, listen to some music while I bathe and light some candles.

Breathe watergurl, breathe.