Its been around 30 hours since my last post. I read it and laughed, hell I am a psycho sometimes. I was spitting tacks when I last wrote, sanity has prevailed and I'm back and cruising in 2nd gear. Its been a busy day, cleaned house, went to a travel expo and finally attended a concert. The title of my blog total relates to the concert. It was a great concert, free to the public, great bands, stalls and food - but where was the peoples? Was it because it was a Mana in the Park? Is it because people are too freaked out to attend Maori organised events in Christchurch? Is it because there is too much apathy in the water?
I've got no answers but it was really sad to see sooo much effort be supported by so few. Yeah, we can b#tch and moan about the state of affairs but if you're not supporting the cause, then better go back to bed and shut up. Being Maori in a country that wants you to fall into the sea and disappear is a strange feeling, so its of the utmost importance that we uphold all things positive about our culture and thats means tautoko, manaakitanga, whakawhanaungatanga, aroha, katakata and mana. Smoking, drinking, polluting the body through smoking, drinking, eating junk, taking drugs, violence in a physical or verbal sense is a killer of my people. All these vices are symbols of our shackles, our spiritual bondage that binds us to a smaller, polluted world that allows no room for sun or freedom. Apathy is our inverted anger, our rage against ourselves, our inability to find that inner door that sets us free.
That apathy kills dreams, throws water on the smouldering fire and is like a labotomy for the soul. Fight but fight our inner demons first, take no prisoners from our personal vices, clear out the garbage from our own sewers. I sometimes think we are so worried about what others will think or percieve about us that we get stuck in the "what if" thinking instead of the "I can" action. Carpe Diem, seize the day and squeeze the life out of it. Death is coming for all of us, so live large and laugh. Break free from the mind and look for the bigger picture, just as I need to do on a regular basis when I'm having a day like yesterday.
Love to the sky
H2
Sunday, 25 February 2007
Saturday, 24 February 2007
GRRR)(*&*&^$^*$(%#@^*%@Q#
I'm really frustrated, my frown is like a cavern in my forehead and since I'm obsessed with aging at the moment I'm just adding that to my list of shit things happening at the moment. Just gonna rave because its better out than in.
I have a teenage daughter and for all you teenagers out there that think your parents are dipshits, dickheads, OLD, out of touch and a pack of wankers -NEWSFLASH#!!!! - we think the same about YOU!!! The only thing I would delete is 'old' and replacement it with 'f#cking stupid'. There, feeling better already. Just had a run-in with the teenage freak that goes something like this.......I knock and enter her home (dumping ground for the dead and dying is more precise, but thats another story) and yell out that I'm around and where is she. I pick my way through the greasy papers, dirty dishes, McDonads bags and wrappers, skip over spilling ashtrays and tentatively open the door to her pit. She asks immediately if I've bought anything for her, I wave some jeans at her (levis that I picked up at a garage sale, silly of me really to believe that second hand clothes would ever be acceptable) YUCK, they're horrible.
I take a deep breathe in and hear a maniacal laugh in my head, like the demons are being let lose, I tell them to hang back, this is nothing to get into a tizz about :) I look around the room and think this is YUCK, at least the jeans are clean :P
I asked what her plans are for the day, she tells me they are going out to get lunch. I mention she might wanna get something healthy, cos the junk food wrappers from the back door to the front door aint good for her.
I can almost see her mind crack, hahaha. I get a mouthful of spewing, spiteful expletives about how stupid I must be to think she doesn't know that!!!!!! This is my cue to leave, I wish them all a lovely day and head outside to breathe.
How is it that I bought this rude obnoxious child into the world, that talks to her mother like she is crap? I make mental notes all the way home about this asshole that is parading as my daughter. Yeah, yeah I remember it all with my own mother, my own flat, my own life.
I moved down here three weeks ago to be closer to my daughter and at the moment I'm feeling the void? Today, I'm bloody disappointed in her, I dont want to be around her. For today, I am over that role, fu*k being a mother, I'll play the spoiled arse daughter anyday. Yeah Yeah, I participated in that creation I know.
I'm pissed off with a few things today.
Number one is the daughters attitude. Number two is the Plumbers bill. A thousand fu3king dollars to install a sink the size of a bowl in the downstairs toilet and install a toilet I BOUGHT. I'm sure he's pulling one because I'm a woman. Number three is the vinyl layers crap job. I can see wonky lines around the edges of the vinyl, another thousand bucks for a shit job. I hope they both come back as women in their next life, even better, a mother.
Phew, ok, I am normally reasonable (well at least on Planet Z I am) I just needed to blog that crap and send out to the universe :) I'm now going to do something rational like plaster a hole in the kitchen. Have a good day peeps. If you're a mother, hug yourself, if you're a teenage go jump :P hahaha.
I have a teenage daughter and for all you teenagers out there that think your parents are dipshits, dickheads, OLD, out of touch and a pack of wankers -NEWSFLASH#!!!! - we think the same about YOU!!! The only thing I would delete is 'old' and replacement it with 'f#cking stupid'. There, feeling better already. Just had a run-in with the teenage freak that goes something like this.......I knock and enter her home (dumping ground for the dead and dying is more precise, but thats another story) and yell out that I'm around and where is she. I pick my way through the greasy papers, dirty dishes, McDonads bags and wrappers, skip over spilling ashtrays and tentatively open the door to her pit. She asks immediately if I've bought anything for her, I wave some jeans at her (levis that I picked up at a garage sale, silly of me really to believe that second hand clothes would ever be acceptable) YUCK, they're horrible.
I take a deep breathe in and hear a maniacal laugh in my head, like the demons are being let lose, I tell them to hang back, this is nothing to get into a tizz about :) I look around the room and think this is YUCK, at least the jeans are clean :P
I asked what her plans are for the day, she tells me they are going out to get lunch. I mention she might wanna get something healthy, cos the junk food wrappers from the back door to the front door aint good for her.
I can almost see her mind crack, hahaha. I get a mouthful of spewing, spiteful expletives about how stupid I must be to think she doesn't know that!!!!!! This is my cue to leave, I wish them all a lovely day and head outside to breathe.
How is it that I bought this rude obnoxious child into the world, that talks to her mother like she is crap? I make mental notes all the way home about this asshole that is parading as my daughter. Yeah, yeah I remember it all with my own mother, my own flat, my own life.
I moved down here three weeks ago to be closer to my daughter and at the moment I'm feeling the void? Today, I'm bloody disappointed in her, I dont want to be around her. For today, I am over that role, fu*k being a mother, I'll play the spoiled arse daughter anyday. Yeah Yeah, I participated in that creation I know.
I'm pissed off with a few things today.
Number one is the daughters attitude. Number two is the Plumbers bill. A thousand fu3king dollars to install a sink the size of a bowl in the downstairs toilet and install a toilet I BOUGHT. I'm sure he's pulling one because I'm a woman. Number three is the vinyl layers crap job. I can see wonky lines around the edges of the vinyl, another thousand bucks for a shit job. I hope they both come back as women in their next life, even better, a mother.
Phew, ok, I am normally reasonable (well at least on Planet Z I am) I just needed to blog that crap and send out to the universe :) I'm now going to do something rational like plaster a hole in the kitchen. Have a good day peeps. If you're a mother, hug yourself, if you're a teenage go jump :P hahaha.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
