Belief

After reading a couple of comments left on Sarahs site about god and the universe I realise it can be quite challenging to fess up to your faith or lack of....
I was raised Catholic and I think having refused to attend any more church services 29 yrs ago at the brave old age of 13 (my mother didn't speak to me for about a week after that, coventry, lovely) I have reached my freedom state.
I don't attend anyones church, I won't date someone that is committed to going to church and I have no problem asserting my non-participation rule when the occassion arises. Am I anti? Sort of.

I don't remember a heap of positives associated with religeon. I remember the "you shall not's" and a tonne of damning acts. Not alot of ILU or even that I was divine:)

The further away I get, the more convinced I am about religons role to control the masses. In the old days it was a very useful tool to keep the poor in their place and not stage an uprising i.e Don't covert your neighbours wife or goods buddy, even if I am a Lord and you are my gardener, because there ain't enough room in the 3000 hectare estate for the both of us....a flick of a bible page and your damned because you want more than turnip soup for dinner.

And as a recovering Catholic I stare at the paper and wonder at the paedophilic career options in the Catholic preisthood. Was it marketed in those circles as an 'all you can eat smorgasboard" ? Because, it sure as hell seems like it. The number of cases in NZ per capita is astounding, all under the cloak of a beloved god who should never be questioned and that includes his reps dressed in black cussocks....and then if things get a little hot and parents started asking questions and kids started saying wierd shit about Father Michael you could move to another parish and clap your hands in glee while you eyed the fresh fields. And again, you can't accuse a man that is here in place of GOD of such wickedness, he IS god. Control my mass...rod, staff...yeah, whateva father.

So these days I practise the power of myself, my ability to create change in my life and surroundings. I give thanks for the sunrise, sunset, moon, sun, stars, rain, snow,mountains, hills, rivers, ocean, tides, wind, fog, stones, dirt, flowers, trees, grass, light and dark. Call me new age, I'm down with whateva label you wanna pin on me :) Catholic ain't one of them any more...

Jumping

I've been AWOL. I felt like jumping off the roof yesterday. Just a small problem, the roofs not very high so theres no chance of any drama besides me twisting my ankle and then having to limp inside like some arsehole.
I spend 5 hours on my computer putting together an application for an international exhibition and just 5 minutes of me spellchecking the document gave my workplace system time to crash.....I lost it all.
There were a few lessons in there, I'll just list them so you and I can both be on the same page, shaking our heads and clicking our tongues in unison.
1) I had left the application to the last day because I didn't think a key player would agree......
2) I completed the application at work, its not work related.......

Moral of the story?
Pull a sickie on your clients and work, stay in bed, complete no applications, take no phone calls, close eyes, snore and be at one with the blankets.

This week I have been profoundly disorientated.

I asked the universe to open the door of opportunity in the form of a new job, 30 hours, $23 per hour, arts associated with flexibility to travel. Yesterday I got an offer of 9 hours per week as a literacy teaching assistanct at $13 per hour. Someone has a sense of humour......

I went to Wellington for work and a second date with 'that' guy. I'm gonna keep it short and to the point, there is no need for anything extra.

8.00am Land in Wellington
8.30am breakfast at the beach with friends
9.30am meet with sister for a visit
10.00am txt that guy to tell him that I'm in Wellington, let him know that I have a lunch appt, but am generally free after that
12.30am lunch with friend, leave her at 4pm
4.00pm Ring that guy and ask what he's doing, does he want to catch up, to give me a call
From here its just messages.
5.10pm (him) been out fishing all day, whats up
5.12pm (me) waiting to see if you want to catch up?
5.20pm (me) hello?
5.22pm (him) sorry my brother just arrived, will txt when he leaves
7.10pm (me) this is ridiculous, in around 20 mins I'll make other plans
7.27pm (him)sorry h2o, sorry u feel that way, my family is here from north, I remember when you wanted to leave our date to pick up ur daughter, no drama for me. whateva, do what u need to do.
7.28pm (me) I ring and tell him I'm not surprised he didn't answer, thats he's not being straight up and is incommunicative, not to mention rude

CLICK, voila end of dating with 'that guy'. No reply, nothing. Crazy shit.

I'm bored to my back teeth. I went to the DVD store, walked around and around the store for 1 hour, trying to find the holy grail. I end up getting 10 for $10 and then I owe $10 in late fees. $20 for someone that has no money, crazy shit.

tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

Monkey

My shoulders have been aching for nearly one month. I am a beast of burden. I like to take the problems of the world and load them onto my back. Don't worry if it has nothing to do with me, my life, my country, my backyard. I will take on anyone's problems at any time, 24/7. I don't even have to know you, to feel your angst.

My name is Watergurl and I'm obsessive compulsive.

I like to hold on to the past. I give my issues a deathlike embrace and hold on for all eternity.

My own, your own, anyones own. Call me on 0800 takemycrap or visit
www.isthatamonkeyonyourbackdoyouhaveroomforanother.com

Geez I need to let go

Sliding

I just had a valuation done on Friday, the report came in Tuesday night. Apparently my house value has dropped by $30, 000.00
Is this possible? the market has dropped off because of high interest rates (9%...yeah you read right, 9 fucking percent)
Something must have moved into the neighbourhood cos its killed my equity.
I'm in a quandry, going by the valuation I will still owe money if I sell. Exactly the situation you spoke of TM. I woke this morning with a sore jaw, it must be the grinding of teeth?? My shoulder aches (burdened, a physical manifestation of my burdens). I would just like to walk out owing nothing. I would rather not walk of course, but I'm an adult and I can do what needs to be done.
I've also applied for a full time job......
Everything I never wanted. Reality is such a bawdy bitch.

Power to the Workers!!

This is a little bit of a serious post. This morning I was wallowing around in my own incompetence, being silly.

I went over to the manufacturers today to drop off a container for an artwork. This is the company who are no longer able to work with us as they are closing their workshop. I finally caught up with the sales rep that first bought me on board and who I have the best relationship with. I asked him how the changes were affecting him and he put his head in his hands. He told me that he's lost his job too, the factory would be closing, not just the workshop. He has 4 kids under 5 with another due in 2 weeks. He put his house on the market this morning. I was pissed off with the closure of the workshop, nothing in comparison to this guy, he's in full blown panic mode, shafted.

Worse still, he was on annual leave for a week, I knew before he did......the owner never even bought him in to tell him????

When i walked in to the factory last week there was still the machinery and tooling specialist areas there...today it was empty. NZ manufacturing is in deep shit. Its fucking shameful that the profit margins must increase on an annual basis or we're deemed failures to the point that we forsake our own industries and jobs.

I really wish that owner had talked to his workers, they were a good crew to work with and deserved much better.

Power to the Workers!

Template shit

There's a reason why I don't get fancy shit on my blogpage. Cos I don't know shit about computers. I know more shit than the average user, but much less shit than the computer literati.

I have just spent the last 45 minutes trying to find, download, upload, stick a dirty stick in my eye, sideload, frontload, spin cycle, freak me dee, a new fucking background to my blogspace. I'm pissed off and my shoulder aches.

Flcker can fuck off too.

Can I have another helping of that?

The weekend has come and gone, like water down the plughole.

I was just cruising Blogger like I do sometimes to see what blogs catch my eye and I just have to note one frustration. I'd like there to be settings and the nav bar at the top should be compulsory. If you're like me, you like to hit the 'next blog' button and come skidding to a dead end when the person has elected not to have the nav bar. It means reversing out of theirs to the prior blog and hoping not to run into another dead end, annoying.

I went out for a drink with my work colleagues on Friday. I usually avoid the social outings but this time I thought, why not? Within about 10 minutes I remembered why not. Note to self, never, ever go for a drink again on a Friday with colleagues. Choose a lobotamy first. I don't know whether its age or interests but I had brain ache I was so bored. One woman excitedly retold of her card making hobby and how she had ordered a new cutter with six stars as opposed to the four star that she had had. AND the colour pencils that cost $175 because there were none like them in the world for card making....yep, ok. One passed around photos of her grandchild and one talked non stop about her dog popping his cherry, locking and unloading for the first time. I looked around the room and thought, have I slipped into another dimension where shit like this makes sense? Am I not hearing the conversation correctly because everyone else is animated and happy. I nodded and smiled for about an hour and then picked up my car keys about to leave. One of the women said 'whats wrong are we boring you?' to which I replied 'yes'. Naughty I know. Sometimes I am blunt for the shock factor. They looked at me aghast and laughed because they were sure I must have been joking.

I think I need to get laid.

All volunteers for said vacancy please meet in an orderly line at Hornby (that is a place, I kid you not) Mall, 3pm, wear orange trousers (just because I'm sick and need to be entertained)

H2