unwellness

I have worked solidly for the last three days. On Friday I rose at 5.30am to take the first flight out of the city to Wellington. I worked all day and spent a restless night in a hotel. I rose at 6am to get to work at 6.45am and worked all day again. Last night I stayed at my sisters house and had another restless night because I had to share with a niece that tossed and turned all night. She woke me at 6am to watch tv and generally keep her company.
Today I flew home and I feel my throat is tender and scatchy. I feel unwellness approaching. I am tired and I have a headache. I have just had a bath and will go to bed early tonight.
I have been without medication for a couple of days and I'm sure this adds to my general feeling of lightheadedness. My mood is grey and weak. I do no feel robust or strong. I feel softened at all edges, listless and distracted.
When I am unwell I feel alone. When I am well I do not feel that aloneness....I just move on to something to distract from my natural state of being. Once I am stopped by illness or incapacitation I am not good to be around.
Tomorrow I am considering handing in my notice on one of my jobs. Its a social services job, hard work with little reward. I am tired of it, I am tired of the emotional drain. I don't think I can go on doing that job, its too much.
I need to sleep and dream away my worries, reprieve from my thoughts and unwellness.
Good night

h2