Sponging

These last few days I've been leeching off others posts and leaving comments here there and everywhere. Not contributing to my own post because I haven't been in an interesting frame of mind. Sort of like doing the rounds and going to other peoples houses for dinner, but not inviting them to dinner at my house.
Sponging.

I have a few balls up in the air, some haven't come back down and a couple that have are broken.

My daughters 21st is 4 weeks away. In NZ the 21st birthday is huge, a transition from childhood to adulthood (very quaint and old fashioned ritual, because as far as I know, children become adults aroung the age of 15 but still remain childlike till around 30). So its a big deal and I'm buying into it like an alcoholic at a homebrew expo.

I have one child so everything is a oncer or at least thats how I rationalise my irrational behaviour. I have spent the last 2 weeks designing and creating her invitations ( a CD, a CD cover, a CD label) but my teeth have suffered from constant gnashing when my printer has failed, I've fed the paper wrong, the inks run out, the format is incorrect for the labels....all very testing on my warped little mind. I have to bend everything to my will.

So when there is a hiccup in the machine line I am fit to blow like a bazuka. The paper costs around $1.10 per sheet and when I look down and see 8 sheets that have been fucked up by the printer/inks and the machine operator (me) I get a little crazy. Its just as well I have lived alone for the most part of this operation. Women can be scary when shit doesn't happen.

I have an ache in my shoulder from incorrect posture, keyboard height, chair, fuck, whatever, basically a shit desk and a shit chair. over.

I'm about to cross over to no mans land this morning. A few posts back I talked about my client wanting to shift operations to the north island and how I went a little 'Danger Will Robinson' on his ass. Well, now I am about to suck his toes...the manufacturer is closing their workshop and will no longer do the work that I screamed about. My client was here two weeks ago, sorting out a huge order with them, did they mention any possible strife? NO, did they mention smoke in the air? NO.

Yeah I know companies try and trade it out, but the customers do too. The customers hopes that the relationship is built on trust and openness. I pay my big bill on time, you make my stuff. You don't tell me when the ship is going down and I leave you in dry dock where you belong, assholes.

Irony, huge cauldrons of steaming thick Irony, served anally with a hot silver ladle. I'm bending over as I type. I got duped and I batted for them.

I think I'll keep making 'Sweet Sixteen' type arrangements for my daughers 21st. Have you seen that programme?? it leaves me stupified. I asked my daughter if she would like a helicopter to pick her up for her party...she looked at me with a scared look in her eyes. She knows her mother is capable of arranging that crazy shit and much more. Its ok, I was just testing to see if my daughter was still human and hadn't become 21stzilla.

Yeah I feel for my daughter too, her mother is crazed. Can you imagine when the grandchildren arrive? lawd help them.

H2

Tomato

I grew a couple of tomato plants and a few tyres full of potatoes this year, I must admit it was my first pathetic attempt at grewing anything since I was a kid. Both crops failed to thrive.

When I was younger, much, we used to grow corn, tomatoes, lettuce, watermelon, pumpkin and peas in our backyard. That doesn't happen too much anymore and I think I planted and grew those tomatoes because I'm looking back, remembering and reinacting some of the good things in my life.

When I think of our garden it is always sunny, hot and clear. A snapshot of a perfect day.

My tomato and potato plants grew and were blighted, I managed to get one single tomato off each plant and a handful of marble-sized baby potatoes. They have withered and died. I don't remember our tomatoes and potatoes from childhood being blighted or lacking in produce. My memory is selective and my present day was disappointing. I am going to make one sandwich out of the tomatoe I grew and I'll saviour it while I eat.

I feel a need to get back to simple things after wandering so far away into the corporate jungle. At the time I loved all the business and some days I can hook straight back in without missing a beat. I've laughed at Texsmissuss posts on mediocrity because I can sooooo relate. I've even played a few of those games myself.

This year I will plan a winter garden and I will tend it better than I did the summer one. I have forgotten how to do certain things but I know with a little practise I can relearn them. Last year I flew to Australia and the States for work and holidayed in Asia. This year I will catch the bus to travel to Dunedin to look for work :)The irony makes me giggle.

I never imagined that I would ever step off that ladder, I liked the view, the money and the lifestyle. Now, its just a different way of being. My mind is not asleep but it does look alot different without the rose glasses and the bifocals :)

I think my business will be great once it gets going, but we'll see when we get there. The journey so far has been most interesting.

H2

WTF happened to my tracker

I guess Neoplanet ran out of free stuff, my counter has gone, sucky.
Oh well, getting over myself...

The Change

I just offered up my house to Social Services....well, not so dramatic, my spare bedroom to be exact. So that a child can come and stay some weekends and have a safe place to be. Yeah, my eyes are open. Enough wanking on about the suffering that some children are exposed to, just actions. I'm afraid, of myself.
Be the Change I want to See, well come on then, be the Change h2.
Fuck, some days cruising as a lemming, some days exposed. Today, exposed and fronting up, appearing for duty. Scared? yep.
Don't know unless I try, can't yap without walking the line.
Scared still? yep.
Heading out, eyes open and present, still.

h2

be present

be present today, see the opportunities arise and make conscious decisions. Stay in the here and now, don't fly away.

h2

Co-habitation

Ummm, I have put an ad on a website for a flatmate. Its the weirdest feeling to have to put something out there that you really don't want to do, but have to out of necessity.

I don't want a flatmate, I love living alone, but financially I have to get real. I need the extra money. Done, end of argument.

I want a non-chattering, independant, working, down to earth flatmate.
Secret: somedays I dont like to talk. My family know this and just roll their eyes when I hit one of my 'i'm not talking today moods'. Wierd, yes.

I have a 3 bedroom house, thats all mine to express myself and my indulgent ways, its all about me, all of it, every inch....LMAO, I am an indulged child.
I know a flatmate will do me the world of good. Akin to sharing my toys in the sandpit. I need to stretch myself and my world....S H A R E

I just had a phone call from a young Japanese man who would like the room for 10 weeks, awesome, a trial flatmate :) 10 weeks sounds brilliant to me! He is on a one year working visa and leaves in April. He's visiting today to see the room, so I best get on with it and clean house.


UPDATE: I now have a new roomie, he moves in next Tuesday and his name is Shin, 29 from Japan, welcome to the Hotel California, Shin....

h2

Terminated for being too rich

Imagine, anyone earning over 1 million dollars per year must share their wealth in a humanitarian way and show proven results or be terminated....can u imagine? LOL. I just watched www.warongreed.org

We got to legislate some of this crap i.e be good or Santa will sleigh you :)

Eat the Rich